aaron

Scripture clearly teaches that our "choosing" God is preempted by His salvation. While we may "choose" to follow Him, that choice is not possible as a result of our free will, but as a result of God freeing our will to be able to choose Him. God always is the first cause in our salvation, at the very least. Thinking on this, though, people very often have objections, such as "we need free will so that we may choose God" or "we need free will such that we may choose to love" or something along that line of thought. These are questions that are difficult when we consider the nature of our will, but I'm not addressing those now (however, if you want me to, I can another time). What I'm wondering is this: why do we fight so hard for the case of free will? Why does it matter to us?

Well, I haven't written about what I'm up to in the last little while, so might as well. Over the last couple of weeks, I have continued my journey through the book of Romans, as well as Phillipians.

I'm not sure what I want to write on to begin, but I do know what I feel in my heart. Over the last little while, when people ask me how I am, I'm not sure how to answer. Really, I'm good, I have little to complain about. Just below the surface, however, is this boiling ocean of discontentment. It is not that I don't have many possessions, it is not that I have little money: I have all of these I need to survive, and, indeed, more than I need to survive of both. I can fill my stomach, and pay my bills... what else do I even need? No, friends, my discontentment runs much deeper than that, still.

Okay, nothing heavy in this blog! Yesterday we went to the Paradise Water Hole on Big Crystal Creek. Definitely one of my favorite places to swim around Townsville! Sadly, the water was a bit low... there was hardly any flow through it. Usually there is enough that you can ride down the rapids if you are feeling agile enough to do so.

I don't even know how to start this... but please, know that I am writing this not to prove that I am right or to demote anyone's role in ministry or any such thing, although I think I will make some bold statements. I think... I don't understand this approach that some people have to the propagation of the gospel. That approach being... we get to know someone, and then introduce it to them gradually as they become more comfortable with us. I have nothing against it, at least at the surface. I do the same thing myself! I don't always tell people about the wonderful gospel the first time I meet them. But when I think about it... something stinks about that scenario. The gospel is the very testimony of Jesus Christ, around whom my life pivots, but even more He is the Axis Of History, the One for Whom the universe was created. The very being of anyone on earth is directly related at all times to the Person of Jesus Christ. The gospel should be one of, if not the first thing that we share with someone we meet, should it not? But... we don't... I don't. Why not?

Ahh, I have to watch my heart, friends! In some ways, I feel trapped. I have all these conflicting desires within my heart, and the main bulk of them don't feel relevant to where I am, now. The funny thing is, I want to be a missionary, but more and more I am realising that what I am doing does not seem like missions work... this article I recently posted explains what I have been learning regarding missions. That is not to say what I am doing is not important...

Well... I was writing an email, and this really got stirred up in my heart. Probably partly to do with finishing Tozer's book, too. Anyways... I was sitting in bed and considering the books I've read in the last five years, or so, and two in particular jumped out at me that actually both encourage and sadden me.

So, I've been reading A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit Of God and something really jumped out at me as I was reading, tonight. [caption id="" align="alignright" width="83" caption="The Pursuit Of God"][/caption]

"A Generation of Christians reared among pushbuttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relationship with God. We read our chapter, have our short devotions, and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar." (p. 45)

How true is this? In my own life, I have tried to follow devotional guides, I have tried to read one chapter of my Bible every day. I, on an average day, listen to at least one sermon, sometimes three or four.

Oh gosh. I'm watching the end of "The Da Vinci Code". So dumb! It's entertaining if you can watch/read it as a mere story... but the assertions and deceptions contained therein regarding the nature of Jesus are ridiculous! On a different subject altogether, isn't it funny how people can try disprove God, but cannot? At the same time, neither can we prove the existence of God? Ahh, but I am not, cannot be agnostic, either. I experience God, every single day. How could I deny that?

Ahh, I began to write this blog in an entirely different way, but scrapped it. Today I have been absolutely blown away, once again, by the incredible complexity and depth of the Bible. Have you ever tried explaining a Biblical doctrine to somebody? I love it. I love teaching. I love imparting new things to people, challenging what they believe. Sometimes I am scared to do so, not wanting to offend them, or just afraid that someday I will recognise my error. Still... I think teaching is in my blood.