Growing Missionaries

One month ago (give or take a week or two) I spent about a week praying pretty much the same thing over and over, whenever I felt led to pray. That prayer was one of these questions, or all of them: "What did God reveal to the hearts of such men as John the Baptist, the eleven disciples and the apostle Paul that so affected them to live an extreme lifestyle, completely devoted to their service to God?" Most of us have read the stories of famous Christian men, too... Martin Luther, John Wesley, John Calvin, William Carey, Jonathan Goforth, David Livingstone, James Hudson Taylor. What so drove these men to preach the gospel? The answer seemed obvious, at first thought: God! These men knew and loved God. Then I considered my own life. Do I love God? If anyone asked me, I would answer a joyful "Of course!" or something of the like. I work full-time as a missionary here in YWAM. I gave up having a "normal" life to live here , working as a volunteer. Yet... there seems to be some disconnection. How many missionaries have been so desperate to preach the gospel that they would stop at nothing to teach of Jesus? I have read of men who gave up literally everything... one man (who's name unfortunately escapes me) trekked into a jungle with only a few week's worth of food, desiring to reach a jungle tribe of headhunters whom no missionary had ever survived. Confronting almost certain death, what drove that man to still go, anyways, on the slim margin that he would actually survive to learn the language of this tribe and preach to them the testimony of Jesus Christ? What about the apostle Paul? He was jailed numerous times, stoned twice, received the 39 lashes on two occasions, shipwrecked 3 times, often went without food... and yet, the man preached, at every opportunity, and wrote impassioned letters to those who he'd seen formerly. What drove these men? God has begun to answer me, over the last few weeks, and the answer is as simple as I first thought: God. Everything that we learn as Christians that is advantageous to our relationship with God is born in God Himself... it seems to me that with God, we don't go from knowledge to understanding to revelation, as the world learns, but quite the opposite. God must first reveal something to our hearts before we can understand it. This should be self-evident within the gospel itself: God must first reveal Himself to our hearts before we may understand what He has done for us, and believe: belief is preceded by revelation. Often, we approach God in such a different way, though. We strive for knowledge and understanding... approaching the Scriptures academically, making sure our theology is accurate, sucking sustenance form sermons. How do you teach people to preach the gospel at every opportunity, preaching in a field because they are kicked out of churches, streets, towns? How do you teach people to stand upon the Word of God in love, even as their fatal wound's blood falls upon it's sacred pages? How do you teach people that it's better to be burned at the stake than to renounce the doctrine of salvation by faith alone? How do you teach people to literally give away all of their possessions and move to Africa without asking anyone for money or support? How do you teach people to cry out "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!" even as one slips into sleep [read: death] (Acts 7:60)? How do you teach people to love? The answer to all of these questions is simple: you cannot. No, these things are a result of what God has done in the heart. When we experience God, He transforms us. Moses on occasions had to veil his face, for his countenance was transformed by exposure to God's manifest glory. If you look up every man I have mentioned in this article, you will notice one thing that all of them shared: they all encountered God. Perhaps not in the same way as Moses, although some of them also knew Jesus in the flesh... but God revealed Himself to all of them. It is the presence of God which imbues upon the heart all the things questioned above. My friend, it is absolutely necessary for one who desires to become an effective missionary to pursue God without relent. I think all Christians ought to do this, of course, but it may be that some have different directions upon their lives than I do, and I would not project that unfairly upon anyone. Nevertheless... an examination of both Biblical and post-Biblical missions movements will reveal this, I believe. The great missions movements of history have all been born not out of some clever teaching, but out of communities dedicated long-term to extreme lifestyles designed specifically around placing themselves in God's presence: prayer, fasting, and worship. This John the Baptist did for sixteen years in the desert before his ministry. This Jesus did when He walked the earth. This the disciples did between the time that Jesus ascended into heaven and when He sent His Spirit on the Day of Pentecost, and then they went forth and preached. This Paul did when He disappeared for thirteen years after Damascus (we learn he went to Arabia), and he came back with the most shocking revelations in history, even today. This Martin Luther did, sparking the Reformation. This the Moravians did for 100 years, sending out missionaries and greatly influencing such men as William Cary and John Wesley (led to faith by Moravians!). It is with this in mind that I have titled this article. It seems apparent to me that nothing excepting the presence of God will suffice to provide the kind of men and women so many of us only dream of being. I have wrote lately a fair bit about setting myself in such an environment... at Tauranga House Of Prayer or an SBS or something of the like... even here, if it can be had, at YWAM Reef To Outback. I do not strive to be a John Wesley or a John G. Lake... but I do long to have a heart that is so desperately intimate in my relationship with God that it consumes my very being, that I must speak of His wonderful plan for mankind.

Mark me with Fear and Trembling Send someone else instead I know my world is ending I can't repay my debt

Can I carry such a heavy burden? Can I move when I am paralyzed? I see a fire behind a heavy curtain I lean in closer and I close my eyes

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke And I say, "Here I am, send me." Lifts my soul, free and so unafraid "Here I am, send me, send me." Free and so unafraid "Here I am, send me."

Mark me with fire and send me Among the living dead They cannot comprehend me; I watch the sickness spread

How can they hear me when their hearts are hardened? How can they see me when they close their eyes? So they can tell that I'm an easy target A wooden saw is quite a way to die

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke And I say, "Here I am, send me." Lifts my soul, free and so unafraid "Here I am, send me, send me." Free and so unafraid "Here I am, send me."

"Here I am, send me." --"The Messenger" by Thrice off The Alchemy Index Vol. 1