I feel like I could be doing more.
For a while, now, we have been engaging in regular intercession, and it has absolutely changed my life. My days now revolve mainly around two things: work and coming before God. It is on those things that I measure my days: I know that I have 9 hours for work, then a couple hours for whatever, then intercession. Oh, and how I look forward to those times! They are so precious to me! To tell the truth… my entire day feels like it is looking forward to that dedicated hour before God. Work is work, but then I get to enter into God's Presence!
Having said all that, something else has been growing on my mind over the last few weeks, and that is living a lifestyle dedicated to worship and intercession. I'm talking about this in two different ways, though.
1. Remaining in God's Presence though the day. As we practice intercession, worship and prayer, and the more we do it, the more we want to do it. It's frustrating knowing that we have to break off a time of communion with God because of our responsibilities. Wouldn't it be cool if we could take that with us, though? How is it possible (because I firmly believe it is) to continue that communion consistently, constantly? I'd love your input on this.
2. I'm also talking about spending two to four hours per day or more in worship and intercession. Imagine waking up at seven in the morning, and then from eight to twelve o'clock you place yourself before God, seeking and worshipping Him. That excites me. I want to do that.
It sounds extreme, doesn't it? It probably is. But I desire that. Again, I'm not satisfied with a simple hour. Honestly, friends, it's really not that hard to pray for one hour, and I've found that God has been teaching me how to pray. I still suck at it, but my heart yearns for more of it.
On the other hand, right now part of me is afraid of doing more than one hour. Why? Because out of the four (maybe five) hours a day I have for my own discretion, I already am down one. I can't be engaging in intercession during work hours (at least I don't think I can, that would be absolutely amazing). If I added another hour, that basically means from eight to ten every night I'd be occupied. Which means I have from six to eight o'clock to do everything else that needs to be done… including practicing music, reading, and studying Scripture. I want to have quality time dedicated to these things, at least an hour each.
So, with that in mind, I have seriously considered joining a ministry dedicated to prayer, worship and intercession, particularly Tauranga House Of Prayer in New Zealand, and it has been especially tempting when I am invited to join that ministry, there. Dalton, if you're reading this, your invitations have not been in vain! My heart longs to be in such a place!
However… God has called me to be where I am, now. And that was the biggest reason that we started doing intercession here in the first place: while we felt called to it, we also felt called here, and are committed here (for me, committed until March 2011). I also realize that it doesn't matter where I am. If I am to live a lifestyle, an “extreme” lifestyle (although I don't believe it really is an extreme lifestyle… it's only extreme because we're not used to it. I think it should be normal for people to commit their lives to worship and intercession), I should be able to do it wherever I am, under any circumstance. The real question is: how far am I willing to go? Am I willing to put my precious hours of free time on the alter, laying them down for the sake of pursuing God?
I'm not saying that practicing music or reading or writing (which, I realize, as you probably do as well, takes a fair bit of my time; I love it.) should be laid down for the sake of spending that time in prayer. I need to practice music, I need to read, I need to write (and I hope you all enjoy it). But I would also like to spend more time in intercession, seeking God.
So… I guess that's where I'm at. I'm working on developing a lifestyle of prayer and fasting, but I don't feel like I'm where I need to be, yet. I want to press in, because I'm not satisfied. I want, I need more.
